In an effort to raise an ideal child, women sometimes sacrifice themselves and their lives.
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The relationship between mother and son develops differently than with his daughter. In the end, the woman herself was once a girl, and this model of behavior is familiar to her, which cannot be said about boys. Boys are a completely different world, distant and unfamiliar. Ignorance of what to do with them and how to properly educate leads to the fact that the mother either bends over custody, depriving the child of independence, which means masculinity, self-confidence and success in relationships with women, or becomes detached, laying at least serious injuries in a gentle baby soul. I will tell you about the typical mistakes of women in raising sons and how to avoid them.
The basis of the traumatic upbringing lies in the mother's fear that something will happen to the child: he will fall, will not be strong or not successful, will get involved in a fight. But with each person, one way or another something happens - in such situations a personality is formed and the right attitude to difficulties and problems. Therefore, since birth it is important to understand that the personal fears and problems of the mother can ruin the boy's life. Therefore:
1. Avoid overprooting
It is clear that we all worry about our children. I want to surround them with care and protect them from any adversity, spread a straw at each fall from a bicycle or scooter. But it is important to find a middle ground - to give the son the freedom to independently react to the difficulties that have arisen. Do not run to him at the first fall, if you see that nothing terrible has happened and he can climb himself. Just stay close, in case you need to. Since the nasation by the mother sooner or later begins to irritate the child, it breaks down, becomes rude, ceases to perceive the world adequately. You put into it the feeling that life without a mother is extremely difficult, and the people around are suspicious and unreliable. Because of this, there are problems with finding friends, relationships do not go well in the team.
2. Do not sculpt your ideal
In an effort to raise an ideal child - strong, successful, intelligent - women sometimes sacrifice themselves and their lives. They run from mug to mug, looking for where they have not yet recorded their prodigy - English, swimming, boxing, speed reading, designing. The child has no time to be a child and have their own interests, the mother has no time to relax and be a happy mother. All her happiness is in her son's good grades, a dozen learned foreign words and teacher praise, which she perceives as recognition of her efforts.
But what does this lead to? The boy grows self-confident, with great ambitions and confidence that the whole world revolves around him. Responsiveness and kindness - not his horse. He marries a girl to become himself - beautiful, successful, who will definitely admire him. And which he will definitely compare with mom. But mothers, as a rule, cannot wait from him at the right moment of compassion.
3. Do not hide emotionsThe relationship between mother and son develops differently than with his daughter. In the end, the woman herself was once a girl, and this model of behavior is familiar to her, which cannot be said about boys. Boys are a completely different world, distant and unfamiliar. Ignorance of what to do with them and how to properly educate leads to the fact that the mother either bends over custody, depriving the child of independence, which means masculinity, self-confidence and success in relationships with women, or becomes detached, laying at least serious injuries in a gentle baby soul. I will tell you about the typical mistakes of women in raising sons and how to avoid them.
The basis of the traumatic upbringing lies in the mother's fear that something will happen to the child: he will fall, will not be strong or not successful, will get involved in a fight. But with each person, one way or another something happens - in such situations a personality is formed and the right attitude to difficulties and problems. Therefore, since birth it is important to understand that the personal fears and problems of the mother can ruin the boy's life. Therefore:
1. Avoid overprooting
It is clear that we all worry about our children. I want to surround them with care and protect them from any adversity, spread a straw at each fall from a bicycle or scooter. But it is important to find a middle ground - to give the son the freedom to independently react to the difficulties that have arisen. Do not run to him at the first fall, if you see that nothing terrible has happened and he can climb himself. Just stay close, in case you need to. Since the nasation by the mother sooner or later begins to irritate the child, it breaks down, becomes rude, ceases to perceive the world adequately. You put into it the feeling that life without a mother is extremely difficult, and the people around are suspicious and unreliable. Because of this, there are problems with finding friends, relationships do not go well in the team.
2. Do not sculpt your ideal
In an effort to raise an ideal child - strong, successful, intelligent - women sometimes sacrifice themselves and their lives. They run from mug to mug, looking for where they have not yet recorded their prodigy - English, swimming, boxing, speed reading, designing. The child has no time to be a child and have their own interests, the mother has no time to relax and be a happy mother. All her happiness is in her son's good grades, a dozen learned foreign words and teacher praise, which she perceives as recognition of her efforts.
But what does this lead to? The boy grows self-confident, with great ambitions and confidence that the whole world revolves around him. Responsiveness and kindness - not his horse. He marries a girl to become himself - beautiful, successful, who will definitely admire him. And which he will definitely compare with mom. But mothers, as a rule, cannot wait froean that she does not love her child. But this is how it is perceived by the son. Uncertainty of the mother, covered with a mask of severity and dryness, instills in the guy a feeling of lack of confidence, insecurity, hiding, in turn, under the mask of cynicism and indifference. You grow a cynic, which will be very difficult to create a normal family.
4. Do not tyrannize the son
The severity on the verge of tyranny fosters an exceptionally vulnerable person, prone to cruelty. As a rule, a mom-tyrant is born out of hatred for men and everything masculine, which breaks the life of a child. Even if he learns to avoid violent manifestations of emotions, he is weak-willed, because he subconsciously fears the reaction of his mother. Observe how often you break down on your son and how objectively you are demanding on him. Do not carry their problems on children.
How to build a good relationship with your son
Any good relationship is based on friendship and respect. Give the child the necessary minimum and let him decide for himself whether he wants to walk now or stay at home, what to wear and what section to sign up for.
Happy children grow up only with happy parents. The example of a confident and happy life of the mother is important for the son - such a mother is easy to believe and trust. Save the children from manipulation, then they will grow up grateful. Ensure harmony in relationships, and they will grow up loving and independent. And most importantly, remember: a child is a separate person, not a part of you.